Here I sit in Los Osos. This is a californian little town and I could say it is rather a village, but in my country „village” has another interpretation as here in the US, so I remain at the use of the term: small town. California, United States.
A part of my family lives here and thank God and myself I manage to come here couple of times a year to see them.
So I sit here at the by in a cofeeshop, because I need some solitude – I’ve been with my grandson paying all my attention to him. I sit in the californian energies, though there are no sufers around, this is a bit calmer place. Dwelt by more elder and mature people in ther forties or fifties and every time I am here and observe them, my recognition is that I love the energy of the men who live here very much. I don’t mean that I fall in love with them, because I have a couple, but I observe them how they live their everyday lives what they energies are like, and these things are what I like.
They enjoy life, they do sports, have hobbies, they creat so many things, enjoy the time, the sunshine and they really live their lives.
This morning as I was coming to one of the coffee shop I felt that sorrow is emerging from somewhere very deep inside of me so I sat down at the pier with my coffee and I listened and I just cried and cried and prayed.
I started to pray for the hungarian men, for our sons. This was a pain coming from so deep inside me, that I knew, I felt that this feeling isn’t mine. This is coming from my homeland. It’s in the collective subconscious. The feeling of grief emanates from the hundreds or even thousands of years of subjection, that men and women alike – our ancestors had to experience and now being unfairly experienced. The deep injustice of thraldom, whereby our men gave up ,from which they won’t find their place, or they exit from the earthly game by having a heart attack or by other heart or cardial diseases, or even diabetes. They are not well, they have been deprived of some elemental strength, faith and trust, all which with they could live their lives happily.
This is why I could say that we are a country of victimhood, where women were victim too, but we-women were able to collect much more strength, because we have to bring up childen and preserve our families and in this preservation this strength is being supressed and we also live the feeling of being subdued and because of which we forgot how to love nicely or love at all.
And what happens if a woman who is really unable to love well, she can’t support the man, who feels subjugated ? It is the sad hungarian reality : The women can’t exist as women and neither the men as men. This is also the karma of our country. somehow to escape this situation, to come out of it by healing. But for this to happen, first of all we have to see it, have a look and accept , that this is the case and this is what happened and to pray for our ancestors and for them , so the generational pattern that is inherent in us would dissolve. Asking for their blessings through our prayers so we could have a second life. Praying to God for mercy, so we could get out of victimhood and undertake who we are a special people with great knowledge whose proximity to God has always been important for them and who alwas found several ways to feel and live the unity with God.
I pray for the hungarian men, so they will be able to get on their feet and find their strength again and I pray for my fellow hungarian women, for myself so that we could love them well and supporting them by this in their strength, so they could trust again, find goals in life and not to ever give up.
I pray for our children, so they could realize their purpose and live a happy life.
Today it’s the stage of mercy , the day of Divine mercy, the resurrection. Let us pray to our ancestors to get back the strength the with which we arrived to this Earth, this place on our planet which is not by accident – our soul chose this place. Yes, we create our reality, but for that, it is possible to let ourselves to see what is the truth. The trught is , that we live in injustice for centuries now and this crippled the nation. Our mission is now to assume our singularity in our country and in the world and as a reformer nation show our spiritual values to the world, our childrena and to ourselves without fear or the feeling of inferiority.
Our prayer to our ancestors on the day of mercy. It could be different. We could elaborate the damage on every fields, but I believe it could be diferent. Until then, I pray every day for ourselved, hungarians.
– Márti Szilasi